@Jai: Thanks for dropping by and for being so honest about your reflections. I think men like you are a great support in the every day work women do battling harassment; the very fact that you’ve spent time wondering why you might not aid someone in such a situation probably means you’ll be there for her the very next time!

I do feel working in the interstices is important, but I also realise that it’s not always possible. One learns to judge the moment and figure out the strategy for it… And sometimes, we just lose our tempers and *blast*, as you put it, because we’re so damnably tired of having to cope all the time.

…And why don’t you agree with the ‘philosophical flimsies’ part of the post? Not philosophical enough or not flimsy enough?

1. BNP I think is overall a pretty good thing, though I have reservations on the “No looking” part of harassment. Its very undefinable though I know what ‘look’ they must be talking about. I disagree with the ‘philosophical flimsy’ part of your post.

2. Annie’s blog has plenty of practical advice just like yours here: no punching/ only screaming, situation judgement etc.

3. Overall IMHO its good to keep with the inerstices / engagement approach you seem to have.

One strange way this helps is it enables or helps others to get enraged when they see somebody who has every right to go BLAST not doing so. It brings them to your side, they rage for you.

This above is from my experience.

As a guy I dont know why I would not side with a lady that has been harassed and is BLASTing away at her harasser, but have to admit that it is likely I wont- unless he is visibly harassing her then.

Possible reasons:
- we prefer to avoid messy situations generally
- cowardice
- a feeling that she is in control now and doesnt need help
- did not actually witness it ourselves
- some few occasions known when some guy has been falsely accused of harassment, so prefer to avoid; ie. guilt not clear.

All of the above look like lame excuses even to me after reading abt harassment on some of these blogs.

regards,
Jai

My secondary school used to be located in a very isolated housing estate which used to be a haven for flashers.

I was thirteen when I encountered my first flasher, and I was understandably horrified, oddly guilty and very angry.

I finally got the guts to ask a senior in my school and she gave me the best advice on the matter.

The next time I ran into that idiot, I pointed and laughed out loud [even though I was digusted inside] and made a comment about … err you fill in the blanks.

Another time, a group of Idiots decided to follow my friends and I back to our hotel in Jakarta. We played a game of ‘dodge the dodgy folk’ by popping in and out of shops, even a dentist before we finally lost them.

But as Anasuya puts it, always stay in the light!

Nice post there BTW, as long as there are individuals who think that having an extra bit of flesh between their legs entitles them to get away with anything, women will continue to walk the streets in fear.

Div

I use humour a lot in my workshops. Occasionally with barely hidden gritted teeth.